August 10, 2013
Feelings
I’m reeling from the feelings
I’m choosing not to feel
Not exploring, but ignoring
keeps them from being real.
Pretending they are ending
In their nonstop feeling spiral
I dread, instead of hiding
They are quickly going viral.
And still I will deny them
Any chance that I will get
Perhaps if I don’t feel them
I simply can forget.
But deep inside I know that
No matter what I do
Until I will allow them
My feelings will flood through.
But still I circumvent them
In calculated rhyme
It’s easier to avoid them
Than truly take the time
To let them out, embrace them
Make friends with what I feel
I’d rather just erase them
Or let my smile conceal
The heartache and the heartbreak
The worry and the fear
The anger and frustrations
With those whom I hold dear
The sadness and aloneness
The worry and the dread
Oh, my, did I just say that
I should get back in bed.
Or eat something now or watch tv
Or do some endless chore
Busy-ness will help again
It’s always worked before
Enough for now
It seems somehow
My defenses may come down
Perhaps I’ll rage or scream or cry
My smile becomes a frown
Then who will love me?
Who will stay?
If I am feeling low
No, carry on and ferry strong
It’s the only way I know.
So sally forth with grit and guts
And glib and guile and glee
If I would feel and then be real
Who would I truly be?