Dearest G-d,
Please show me the way to handle all that I have to deal with in the next several months and beyond.
I know I’ m avoiding my feelings and avoiding meditating, and just focusing on getting through the day. I’m trying to be strong, and stoic, and positive, and grateful for the fact that this is a curable cancer and not something worse.
I’m not sure why I’m getting such extreme reactions – from the mouth sores to the infected port but I know it’s part of Your plan for me at this time.
I am scared – more than I show. I do believe that I will get through the next sic months, but when I let myself, I’m afraid that I may need radiation, surgery, or just that my life is now on a shortened time frame, and that I need to come to deal with that reality.
Please help me make the decisions I need to make from a place of balance and wholeness. I have been “trying so hard” for the last five years, and not sure why.
As I keep depleting my retirement account, help me to come to the right decisions that will help me stay solvent so that I can support myself and not be a burden to my children.
Please bless Dana and keep her sober and able to live her life with sobriety and fulfillment.
Please bless Kimmy and allow her to continue to live her life with all that she does, but with more rest and time for herself.
Please bless my grandchildren, family, and friends.
Please bless me with an easier road to complete health.
I won’t focus on my fears, but lean into my faith.
I know you want me to learn many lessons now, and I will do my best to learn them and act on what I learn.
As in the Prayer I say, You are my Shepherd. I shall not want….
So I will continue to take it one day at a time, and use each day to feel closer to You.
Thank G-d, knock on wood, thank You, Dear G-d, Amen.