Unsettled
Unsettled is a word I use
to hide the tide within
of feelings unexpressed today,
of thoughts inside the din.
Cacophony of sadness,
conflict unattended
trying to be kind and nice
and wanting something ended.
I want to cease to “have to be”
someone who I’m not
The woman who will be there
when I want to leave a lot.
How can I tell him how I feel
how can I break his heart?
How can I free my psyche
Is what I’m doing smart?
I give him something he might want
but what’s the cost to me?
What would my leaving even do
to finally set me free?
So calls I’ll make and words I say
will help him through this time.
And yet for me, I’ll stop to see
how much of me is mine.